Transcript of final paper presentation

I’m Emily

Okay, I am the one who cannot accept extramarital affairs.

Here is the outline.

I will first tell you…umm…the different kind of sense of loss the abandoned partner need to suffer, and after the abandoned partner, is the hurt to children. And then I’m going to talk about the crime of adultery in different countries, and what problem will have when adultery is not a crime. At last, why some of the European countries and some states in United State can abolish the crime of adultery.

Umm okay, let’s start with the sense of loss. A survey shows that there are 70% of people will suffer melancholia for many years after they find out their spouses having an affair. So, I will tell you five kind five kind of sense of loss that the abandoned partner might experience.

First is losing self identity, They will keep thinking “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Umm…Because they might think, they might regard themselves as a friendly, warm or humorous people, but now…but now they will…umm… think that they have hundreds of disadvantages like be sen ah…very jealous sensitive, lose control easily or want to revenge all the time. And second is losing the feeling of being cherished. The aban…the abandoned partner will think that they have…umm…the abandoned partner will think they…they are something like trash whi can…which can be thrown away at anytime, and also they might think they are the special one to their spouses before, but suddenly…suddenly realize that they are not the only one in their they are not the only special one in their spouses’ life. Third is losing control of mind and body. For example, although it is really painful to think of the scenes that your partner and his or her outside lover together, the scenes will still keep emerging into your mind, which will drive you crazy or maybe will affect your sleeping quality. And the distrust…distrust to your spouse will also make you do something impulsive like cannot stop checking his stuff…umm for example, his bills, his pocket, his car, bag and so on. What’s more, some of the abandoned partners will over dieting or exercising just…umm…just because they want to make themselves look attractive and find their pride back in front of their spouse.  And thir…fourth is losing contact with others. “Who can I still trust?” the shame and self-abased will always make them think that everyone is remarking behind em…them. Therefore, they’ll be afraid to go outside and have connection with people. Besides, whether telling their parents and children this matter or not will trouble them for a long…will trouble them for a long time. All these reasons make the abandoned partners …umm… abase themselves from the people. Fifth is losing the will to live. It’s not surprising that people will commit suicide if he/she lose the ability to live or cannot fin…find somebody to love or being love. And this is the worst reflection to the affairs. Trough these five different kind of sense of loss, we can see that once you cheat on your spouse, it means that he/she not only have to suffer the pain of losing you but also losing themselves.

And then here comes the influence to children. Some parents who have affairs might… often deceiving themselves about the impact their infidelity can have on their children. What’s more, they will think that they can cover up all the truth. However….(pause)however, the children are very sensitive, and they’ll find there is something wrong between their parents. So you need to give them a… an a…appropriate expla…explanation…explanation according to their age. And …umm…the direct damage for parents’ affair is that the children will not no long no longer believe in lo… love anymore or you can say they will take a doubtful attitude toward it. Umm… some of them will even…umm…will e even be…hostile to the opposite gender and might use affair as a method to hurt their spouses in the future. Besides, it’s inevitable that when affair is exposed, both parents will feel anxious and angry, that’s why they might forget to think of the stress their children need to shoulder. The worst situation is forcing children to take sides. So, I really want to question those who try to rationalize affairs, do they…do they really understand how painful their spouses and their children will be? I don’t think they do.

And next, I am going to tell you the punishment for the crime of adultery in different countries. In Taiwan, according to the article 239 in criminal code, the cheated people and the outside lovers will both be punished, and the maximum sentence is a year. And in India, a man who has sex with woman without her husband’s approval will be sentenced up to five years. The most cruelest punishment is in Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia, Sudan or Somalia, you will be stoning to death if you commit adultery. So, if adultery is accepted, why many countries still have punishments for this behavior?

There is…umm…a…a reporter called Hsia Hsi, she wants us to understand that love is not the only thing in marriage, and the family responsibility and duty also play a very important role. So the function of the law is not just to punish or you can say to warn the cheated people, it is also a method to remind us not to forget our family oblige… obligation. And she also mentioned that it is alright to have sexual libor… liberty if you are not married. However, she cannot agree and think it is not faithful if you still have this right after you are married. People who opposes this idea of abolishing the law of…the this law considered it as a protection for the abandoned partners and family. At least, it’s a moral support from government, and also a method for the abandoned partner to fight back and gain compensation.

The crime of adulter…when…umm…think of the situation when the crime of adultery is abolished. People might think that having an affair is legitimate, and they will ignore and try to escape the responsi….responsibility they should take. And furthermore, the affair without self-examination will cause more domestic violence. And also, when adultery is not a crime, we need we may need to face the promiscuity problem.   

And then I will talk about the reason why the European countries and the USA stand for abolishing the crime of adultery. It is because their Civil Law has well protection for the abandoned partners, but in Taiwan, we don’t. Our Civil Law is not perfect enough to compensate the abandoned partner. What’s more, umm…in different countries, there are different culture. Is it really appropriate to follow other’s step…other’s step without considering our cultural background?

And my conclusion is, both legal sac…sanctions and ethical restriction are indispensable methods to prevent the widespread affairs. As soon as you get married, you don’t have the right to reject fulfilling the family obligation. And considering to our cultural background, it’s not proper to repeal the crime of adultery in Taiwan.